Virtues

Few family issues have led me to start thinking about what makes ‘good’ people good and ‘bad’ people bad.

I love the personal development movement and after having read so many books and heard so many audio books, I am convinced there is some truth to it. However, as its past my second anniversary of joining this movement, I also have developed some qualms.

First of all, there are far too many of these self called ‘personal development’ gurus. There is something to be said about the character of ‘Stephen Covey’ and ‘Dale Carnegie’, when you read there stuff, they look like people who follow/followed what they preach, its quite obvious, there are no shortcuts and the road ahead is a bit rough but definitely worth getting on to.

As I've mentioned ‘Jonathan Haidt’ so many times already on this blog, and considering ‘The Happiness Hypothesis’ is the first book I've read from him, I am absolutely bewitched.

Jonathan doesn't exactly join the personality development movement, this book is more a psychological overview than an advice and follow steps’ book and the deep insight is more geared in neutral than following any one course, yet its so wonderfully written and entertaining, I am already looking forward to reading it the second time to understand it better.

Coming back to the topic from the start, I read about Ben Franklin (a man in 1700s who set out to improve himself by focusing on virtues important to him) and have decided to set out my own charter and gauge my performance and improvement over time.

So here is the game, I will choose a number of virtues I think are most important and focus my adherence to them on daily basis, with the hope of sharing my results at the end of the week or mayhaps fortnightly, whichever is more convenient. Anyone wishing to join me is more than welcome. For reference, here are the 24 virtues as identified by Peterson & Seligman.

Wisdom
• Curiosity
• Love of learning
• Judgement
• Ingenuity
• Emotional intelligence
• Perspective


Courage
• Valour
• Perseverance
• Integrity


Humanity
• Kindness
• Loving


Justice
• Citizenship
• Fairness
• Leadership


Temperance
• Self-Control
• Prudence
• Humility


Wisdom
• Appreciation of beauty & excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Spirituality
• Forgiveness
• Humour
• Zest

Today, I have two fascinating topics to share.

This morning, Amma (my mum) had invited her local tailor to come over for a meet. Overnight, I had prepared a set of questions I wanted to ask her. She came, we all sat down and I just jumped into my questions. Almost 45mins into our meeting, she said she had other engagements to attend to as well, so she had better leave. As she was leaving, I took out some money & gave it to her in recognition of her advice. Her voice quivered and she slowed down and gave us a few extra minutes.

Contrast the above incident with what happened with you yesterday. Amma & I went to ‘Duppa Gali’, all the salesmen I spoke with were least interested in answering the questions about their craft, the whats, whys and wheres. They wanted sales, not discussion and I was hopelessly a foreigner their.

The point I am trying to make is this:

We all need incentives and in this world, if I need to get my way, I need to let others get theirs too.

I read something most thought provoking in ‘The Happiness Hypothesis’. Jonathan Haidt suggests and reviews three methods of ‘changing your mind’.

• Meditation
• Cognitive Therapy
• Prozac (medication)

In Meditation, he mentioned how this practice has been a major part of Buddism, Hinduism and I started to wonder how come Islam doesn’t recommend or order such methods/measures. Soon after, it struck me that Islam DOES prescribe something similar. Its in Christanity as well and all other religions and that’s prayers. Offering five prayers a day for a muslim is not easy at first. But similar to meditation, prayers force one to break oneself away from the routine and spend sometime focusing towards the spiritual needs. Remarkably, just as meditation is quite hard initially, getting into the stride of offering five prayers a day is also anything but easy, requiring decipline & determination.

It was quite a ‘eureka’ moment for me as Ive been very lazy with my prayers and just like a eureka moment, I just felt all excited having decovered one of the reasons behind prayers. :D

Loud thoughts

The last book I purchased while in London was 'The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt'. I really am going through it rather slowly but based on the first 40 pages, its exhilarating. Upto now, I'd love to call it awesome, refreshing, thought-provoking etc etc but then Ive only read the first 40 pages so will hold on to the words for now.

Haidt is reviewing the Ancient Wisdom and Philosophy in light of modern scientific understanding of human nature and the benefits of religion and psychology upon it all. So far (again Ive only read 40 pages) its the study of human psychology and our natural instincts, whether gravitating towards safety & survival or interpretation of various patterns etc.

Anyways, review to follow in a few weeks time.

Coming back to the post from yesterday, I have been monitoring my usage of internet. Yesterday, being the 1st of March and the start of my monthly allowance, I consumed around 439MB, which included a few short skype voice chat sessions, 4-5 YouTube 10min starcraft replays, emails and Google Reader. Today, as of now, I have used up another 300MB (just emails and Google Reader). Based on this full day, though light usage, Im on track to use up almost all of my monthly bandwidth (12GB), not impressed. I would love to know how ind of packages businesses have to pay...

On another note, went with mum to 'Dubatta Gali' in Liberty Lahore. While I knew there would some amazing designs on showcase but boy, was I impressed. The handiwork was simply mindblowing, yes yes, its all done on machines but it still requires dexterity and a sharp eye to keep it all clean, focused and balanced. Have to go there again and hope to take some pictures. Cheers.