I have been going to the gym since I returned back from Pakistan. Its been wonderful and thank God for ‘The Gym Group’ for their really cheap gym membership plan otherwise I probably would have been sitting idle eating loads and gaining weight like there is no tomorrow.
Ok, its only been a week but hey, I am quite focused for the time being so that can only be good for the body and mind. Every other day suits me as I do not want to over do it and then get bored/tired of the regime and never go back.
So, back to the story, I got up around 5:45am (thats my normal routine nowadays & I love it!) and offered my fajr prayers and decided to make it to the gym early. Did my exercise & shower and was on my way home by 9:00am. Imagine this, as I am walking towards the Vauxhall Bus Station through the underground Tube station, a girl (a very pretty girl she was) walking from the opposite direction smiles at me as we pass each other. I keep my eyes on her and do not smile back, she further deepens her smile and in spite of the notice, I keep my indifferent look and after a moment, look away.
Now, all of the above happened within two seconds I think. But what was incredulous for me was that I could not return a simple smile. Here is one individual who is giving me a precious, a free, a no-commitment gift and I could not reciprocate of my own free choice.
All the while back on the bus, I just could not believe that I had been that heartless, that insensitive and cold to a stranger who gave me something so simple and yet so needed.
Is it not this that life is about, making others feel more comfortable and happy. She probably just discounted me as another Londoner but it was I who could not believe what I had just done. The chances of that lady reading this blog are next to nil but I just want to say how sorry I am and if its any consolation, I said a prayer for her. I let her down and more importantly I let myself down.
But mayhaps, I had to experience this in order to remember to always smile, and keep on smiling come rain or sunshine. Even a smile is a charity.